Scotland Before the Bomb by M J Nicholls

Author:M J Nicholls [Nicholls, M J]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781944697808
Publisher: Sagging Meniscus Press
Published: 2019-11-30T22:00:00+00:00

“The Cleft of Hate”

[ORKNEY]

[‘A Typographical Representation of What Happened’, Melanie Mackay, from The Orkney Organ, August 2058.]

“The Sport of Kickballs”

[LANARK]

IN 2023, THE SPORT OF KICKBALLS, known prior as football, propped up with the enthusiasms of millions, came to certain conclusions. The sport of kickballs noticed that the populace were spending over half their annual incomes on attending matches and purchasing merchandise such as T-shirts, action figures, and signed kickballs. The sport of kickballs concluded that since the populace showed such unbending devotion to its kicky ways, that it should expand its presence across the country, construct more stadiums, stage more matches, assemble more teams, and increase the reach of the sport of kickballs in general. The sport of kickballs then proceeded to build seventy-nine new stadiums, meaning that people could attend matches once every other day, then after work everyday, to indulge their booty pleasures. Two and a half days later, the sport of kickballs concluded that the country’s economy was essentially itself, and that the local infrastructure could easily be absolved into the sport of kickballs. So, the sport of kickballs replaced the houses, businesses, and other structures that make up towns and cities with super-stadiums, inside which the players lived in ruritanian splendour, and where each citizen was permitted to work to earn cash to attend kickballs matches. At first, the populace were moved into small apartments in each stadium, based on which kickballs team they supported, until the kickballsers made the decision that they wanted more space, so the sport of kickballs chose to kick the fans to camps outside, where they lived in tents around the kickballs stadiums. The people had to compete for work. It became apparent that the kickballsers hunger for money was ruining the notion of a self-sustaining world built around the sport of kickballs, and that the excesses of these players meant some people outside were not able to work or receive food, and conditions in these camps became complete kickballs.

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